Keyser Soze

Hello beautiful people, 

Tonight is full of the usual suspects and the not so usual!

Thanks for the great response we got over the last post, we loved hearing your comments!

Our thoughts on Chapter two of eclipse will be up soon and hopefully out first podcast, which will have chapters 3-5 on as well!

REMEMBER ME:

Well I went Sunday afternoon to see Robert Pattinson in his new movie, Remember Me. Well god damn if that wasn't just as fabulous as everyone was saying. I lucked out and the theatre wasn't crowded, thank god. We arrived early, fearing a crowd, and waited. Well I'd heard that I needed to bring tissues for this movie, but I was still shocked to see people come out of the theatre crying - I do it all the time, but it was like, every single person. This movie gets going right from the start - they start off with a BAM! and end with one. Robert Pattinson was amazing - truly. I loved him, it was so different from Twilight - he bagged it. Emile was also brilliant. I was hesitant with her originally, not sure I'd like her. But she did a great job! It was one of the best movies I've seen in a while and I can't wait to go see it again. I think you'll be shocked at not only the level of acting, but what you THINK you know.... *smirk* Yup, leaving you there!

ANGST OF THE WEEK:

This weeks Angsty pic goes to Chicklette's Get Me To You. This Jasper/Bella story was heart wrenching, fabulous, and so different from most fics I read. The first thing that grabbed me (other than it being JxB) was the perspective she wrote. It's like we're sitting, all snuggled up, in the character's brains - hearing their thoughts and them talking to themselves. It was great. It starts off with a bad night for Bella, and I loved  Chicklette's Jasper. He was adorable and his thoughts and actions were sweet. Bella was strong, but had her heart broken and her own wounds. There was one person who got to see both the strong and the wounded. But alas, Edward and Alice can never leave well enough alone. With their meddling and some other troubles things hit rock bottom. The author told me I would love Edward by the end - I can't believe I went from wanting to strangle him to wanting to hug him! Alice... well, let's just say she can jump off the Grand Canyon. The nicknames in this were freakin great! I'm going to find my Sunday Morning guy, what are you doing? Let Jasper and Bella show you how things are done - bring tissues!

UPDATES:

Toxic by SweetDulcinea - PxB. Summary - Bella & Peter have done it all - friendship, dating, bed buddies, and every confusing fluctuation in between. They eventually come to accept that they just don't work together, but that sexual chemistry never goes away... AH ~ Sweets is back, and this was a good update. We got quite the tease in this one. A plane trip - dirty talk of up close and personal dancing... but it also had it's sweet moments. Had me worried for about half a minute quite a few times, actually. It was a fabulous chapter, and I am dying to see what the next one is going to give us!!! Go see what Bella and Peter are doing!

Get Me To You by Chicklette - JxB. Summary - Nominated for an Indie. Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC. ~ Well, this is just... amazing. It grabs your heart from the beginning and keeps a firm grip on it throughout the story. The ups and the downs, always wondering what's around the corner. This is was a great Jasper/Bella story, absolutely fabulous - I adored it! And I may or may not have told the author I wanted to strangle Alice, just sayin.

   The Dartmouth Diaries by Clurrabella – JxB. Summary - How will Bella cope when the Cullens...and Whitlocks, come racing back in to her life, almost as fast as they left? Rated M for Language and Lemons JasperxBella // eventual JxBxPeter ~ Oh Ducatisper is back! It's been a little while since the author was on Hiatus but she is back and we got a great update! Jasper and Bella finally sat down and talked, it seems to have helped them in taking the first step forward. But I found myself wondering at the end... WTF does Charlotte know that I don't and WHEN will I know?! 

   Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm. Summary - Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of commitment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY ~ Holy shit! This was rec'd to me by my sister, who is fairly new to FF. She told me, if I read anything because she told me to - Read this. So I did and OMFG, it's hilarious! Emmett and Jasper, crack me the fuck up! And the Doctor, he's even pretty funny! I haven't finished but I can't wait to read more! This is seriously the funniest fic I'VE read!

Demons and Sinners by Alsper. Summary - Everyone has a demon that makes you sin. Can Alice escape the violence to find her white rabbit? Will Jasper see through the pain for his true salvation? AH/AU Not intended for the weak hearted. Rated M for Sex, Drugs and Violence ~ *sniff sniff* Its nearly over... :( I'm devastated.  I have been angry with these characters, sad for them, happy for them, charmed by them, and that is a sign of a great story. You go on the same ride as the characters and you feel proud to come out the other end with them! Next chapter will be the epilogue and Im so interested to find out where these characters end up! Thank you Alsper for treating us with DaS. Side note: Demons and Sinners just won Best Jasper story in the "Curiosity... Killed the Cat 2009 Twilight Awards."

The Misapprehnsion of Bella Swan by hunterhunting. Summary - The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Players: Through incessant stalking and persistence, can Edward wear down Bella's resistence and teach her to embrace her inner puck bunny? A ridiculous love story. AH/OCC ~ Oh how I love thee! Edward shows up at Bella's house and its all flirty flirty kissy kissy, but then Emmett comes home and Edward says some stuff when he thinks Bella isn't listening! Bella has been looking for a reason not to trust Edward and now he's given it to her and its only going to get worse. This story is so unpredictable I never know what's going to happen next and thats my favourite part about it! I think I've got the characters sussed but then they do something I totally don't expect!

Daniel Gale: Cumming to America by danielgaleh00rs. Summary -Nerdalicious Daniel Gale is saying goodbye to England and hello to the United States. Looking to reinvent himself, he is all too gratified by the corn-fed derriers of Americans. Daniel Gale/Twilight cross over, slightly crackfic, AU, AH, Prepare for Perv ~ Daniel is going to water aerobics classes and he meets Bella there! I was cracking up when they were talking about what they were going and it sounded like they were having sex! There are so many innuendos in this fic, it could have me giggling for days! I adore Daniel and love hearing about what hes getting up to in America! Such an original idea and I think you all need to jump on this bandwagon before it takes off in front of us!

If you leave any reviews let them know that you heard about their amazing story from us, please!

Hope you all enjoy your weekend,

Your Rose and Bella

Chapter One Eclipse & A Guest Reviewer!

Hey readers,

Obviously the biggest news this week is the Eclipse trailer finally being available.

We have decided that in the lead up to the film release we shall be re-reading the book, and as we do we shall be analysing the chapter into how it will look in the film, or even if we think they might cut it all together. 

Our thoughts on the first chapter are just down the page a little bit, bellow the updates, but first we have our first guest reviewer.

Thank you to those who contacted us interested in being one of our guest reviewers we can't wait for you to write something for us.

Angst of the week.

Guest reviwer: Amelie Grey

An Unfortunate Look Into Bella's Lovesick Psyche by inthestars - ExB - Summary: Bella is new in Forks, and she's already crushing on Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen, a misunderstood poet, is totally crushing on Bella Swan, but he has a few secrets--including a rep as a dangerous bad boy and the town pariah. AU/AH, adult themes, language.

I was surprised that it doesn't seem like this fic has ever been reviewed. Ah, well. Personally, I adore this story. I stumbled on it by accident, and since then have come back to read it a few times. Bella's character is honestly cute, and her narrative blends together a mixture of humor and raw angst that really endeared me to her. I like my Bellas strong, opinionated and with a touch of salt. And then, of course, there's Edward...the beautiful, poetry-reading boy who has somehow earned a reputation as a gun-toting pariah. Bella's attraction to him, and the resulting dilemna leads to one of the quotes in the story I enjoy the most:

I sat in that bathroom stall until the lunch bell rang and I had to leave it, mulling over my options:

1.) Be a good girl, stay away from Edward Cullen and try to fantasize about him as little as possible.

2.) Break my police chief father's heart, seduce Edward Cullen, elope and have his gun-toting babies.

3.) Stop being so damn ridiculous and go to class.

I settled on three.

Freaking priceless.

Updates:

In Which Emmett Makes an Impression by ElleCC - EmxR. Summary: This is the telling of an event that was mentioned in passing in chapter 17 of A Murmur of Fire in the Vein.  You don’t need to have read FitV to get what’s going on. The only things that it might help to know are that Emmett and Rosalie are around 20 and have been dating for two years, they’re home from college for a Valentine’s Day party that Mrs. Hale is throwing, and Rosalie and Jasper’s maternal grandparents are visiting from Texas; also, Jasper is dating Emmett’s younger sister, Alice. With relation to the events in FitV, this happens a bit more than four years before the story starts (pre-Bella). This is an outtake from ElleCC's story, A Murmur of Fire in the Vein. It was hot, sexy, true to the characters and even had it's giggles. I loved FitV's Emmett from the start and Elle stayed true to him in this, as she did Rose. It was fun to see Rose in this - not from Bella's POV or Jasper's and without the feelings towards them. It was great, GO!

Son of A Preacher Man by LaViePastice - ExB. Summary: The wild son of a famous televangelist, Jasper likes to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Will he meet his match in Bella, who’s in love with his sister’s boyfriend Edward? And what happens when Edward finally notices her? AH, B/E Yup. That's right, that right there is me marking - and I guess surrendering to the fact that SoaPM is now finished, and more than officially Edward/Bella. I can wait all I want but there will be no updates in my box. LVP did an absolutely fabulous job with the last chapter of her story - and I could huggle her all day for giving us Jasper POV. It was a perfect ending to such an amazing and intense story. If you haven't started it yet, it's now marked 'complete' - GO!

The Twilight25: Round Two by LaViePastiche - I've jumped into LVP's world of Twi25 and I'm enjoying it. Her latest drabble is an "outtake" of her last SoaPM and there's HUGGLES!! It was great and mmm... that was a hug I would re-read. GO READ IT!

The Twilight 25 Round Two by ElleCC - With four drabbles written already, I got quite the read! Elle's non-canon makes me smile and bounce in my chair, her canon ways are true to characters and great, and she makes such an impact with her words. Go!

Edward Wallbanger by feathersmmmm - ExB - Summary: Bella moves into a fantastic apartment building in San Francisco. Guess who lives next door? With walls this thin, the tension is gonna be thick... Yeah thats right folks after we checked out on monday night banger showed up and knocked me off my bedpost! I love how she throws us a curve ball, Im so glad it wasnt all yeah lets get together and have babies now. I especially loved this line, it made me giggle my ass off "

"Me and Edward nothing, there is no me and Edward. What, you thought that we would pair off just because you four finally figured your shit out? You're welcome for that by the way," I snapped, pulling my ball cap down lower on my face, shielding my continuing tears from my best friends.

"Bella, we just thought-" Rose began, and I cut her off as well.

"You thought since we were the ones left over we would just magically become a couple? How storybook, three sets of perfectly matched couples, right. Like that shit ever happens, this ain't some romance novel."" If you didn't laugh then clearly you haven't read enough fanfiction! I really can't wait to see where she goes with this, I love Alice (feathersmmm), I think she is a stunning writer and I am enamoured by each chapter.

The Training by Tara Sue me - ExB - Summary:Sequel to The Submissive and The Dominant. Edward and Bella embark on their new relationship, but who’s training whom? EPOV and BPOV. AU/AH. D/s. After an intense weekend of Play it is time to reflect back and Bella gets the Edward after care session. Its great to see Bella still has so much control over Edward, he may dominate her on the weekends but its clear that if Bella wanted to she could control Edward like a puppet on a string. He loves her too much to ever deny her anything. Plus its really nice to see the all experience and all knowing Edward come undone at the thought of a nipple piercing. *giggles*  "My cock grew uncomfortably hard. "Piercing?" She nodded. "Just one nipple, maybe? I don't know." Fuck."

The Misapprehension of Miss Bella Swan by hunterhunting - BxE - Summary: The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Players: Through incessant stalking and persistence, can Edward wear down Bella's resistence and teach her to embrace her inner puck bunny? A ridiculous love story. AH/OCC So Bella is completely ignoring Edward, believing his kind gustures to be mearly bribes for her to keep her mouth shut. Are you blind woman!? Clearly she knows NOTHING about men. No man would go to that much trouble unless he was actually into her. She has the strength of an ox though, if I had emails sitting in my box (giggles) from Edward freaken Cullen, you wouldn't be able to keep me away from my laptop, no way would I be wait all day until I got home! And now he turns up at her house?! Yikes! I cant wait to see if they have another beaver bashing shesh! Love this story so fucking much. It is the highlight of my day sometimes! <3

Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon - ExB - Summary: Bella Swan is drafted in to interview the reclusive enigmatic Edward Cullen, multi-millionaire CEO of his company. It's an encounter that will change her life irrevocably, leading her to dark realms of desire. M AH Holy jesus fuck. Such a lovely sweet chapter, filled with the comical emails, the affectionate chit chat, the persistent James... who btw is now calling bella "honey" what the mother fuck?, a visit from Jasper and oh yeah psycho bitch Lauren and her revolver. Shit just keeps hitting the fan, but I just love it so much! 

The Reborn by Alsper - AxJ - Summary: Mary died when Jasper was a kid, so who is Alice and why is he so drawn to her? AH/AU Rated M for language, adult themes, and sexual content. Aw I loved this chapter! I feel like its been a long time since we seen Jay and Mar, oh my, how they have grown. This chapter takes us forward into their lives, they have their ups and downs but when it comes down to it they love each other very much. Their irrationality show their still young age, but that makes it so much more real and its a credit to Robs and K's writing. Not to mention the real hot smexing we got in this chapter! Holy cream on a cracker, they had sex on Mr Molina's desk! *fans self* it was high erotic and made me want to go back to school! No wonder I want to be a teacher! (shit that sounds so wrong.. I will not be sleeping with my students! But lets say a sexy co-worker wanted to join me in my class room for an evening of red pen action.. now how might that go?! Mary, you are a filthy, filthy girl.) Anyway... The reborn is coming to a close soon as it was always intended to be a relatively short story, but please go check it out. I promise you will fall in love with these characters! <3

Independent Variables by emibella - EmxB - Summary: An unlikely couple finds unexpected comfort in each other years after a shared traumatic event. Can they put the past behind them and find happiness together? A story of confronting your demons and finding out how to move past them. Em/B. Two chapters for this one, the first is when we find out a little bit more about what emmett and bella are hiding from. What has hurt them so much in the past. We still don't know, but we know that they have been invited to a wedding, interesting stuff. They both admit that they have feelings for each other, neither feeling like they have connected with another since they got burned. Its sweet the way they don't know what they are doing, they start making out and its awkward and tense, its far from perfect, but there is meaning to it and reality in there. It really showcases emibella's writing skills. The next chapter, contained some of the hottest smut I have read in a long long time. A lot of it too. *giggles* More desk sex, Mmm. I'm seeing a pattern forming! Still clumsy, but so passionate and real. Its great that this is told on third person, we constantly know how the couple is feeling, there are no games being played and it refreshing to see that. Just two people coming together, despite the odds. Great story, you should defiantly check it out.

ECLIPSE CHAPTER ONE:

American Whore: So... Eclipse starts out with Jacob's fucking letters. Eclipse is NOT my favorite book (which is strange, it kinda should be... maybe) and I started with a ::epic fucking eyeroll:: Shut the fuck up Jacob, you whiney mut!

tee-hee

British Bitch: I know me too! I was like why are you being so god damn pathetic? And why bella can't you see that he is being god damn pathetic? (warning to jacob fans. This is not going to be jacob friendly.)

Charlie really pisses me off in this chapter, which as you know is tough for me to admit.

American Whore: LMAO. No, definitely not Jacob friendly.

Bella is a fucking moron. Not seeing Jacob play her, because no matter how much he loves her and all that bullshit he manipulates her and her love for him!

British Bitch: Ikr? Shes an idiot

American Whore: I disagree with Charlie, he's frustrating but I also think Jacob manipulates him to see things his way. Since Bella doesn't talk to Charlie all he see's is Jacob's thoughts/feelings.

British Bitch: Billy is just as bad, he knows if he plays on charlie then charlie will lean on Bella and she will listen to her dad

American Whore: Exactly. Fucking Blacks.

British Bitch: Yeah but come on, he almost encourages Bella to cheat on Edward?!

"Edward afraid of a little competition"

American Whore: IKR?! Charlie, what the motherfuck dude?!

British Bitch: thankfully bella shoots it down but geeze chaz!

American Whore: THAT pissed me off, there is no competition Charlie! Especially with a mut! EW!

British Bitch: Agreed!

American Whore: I think all of this will be skipped in the movie too, because Melissa SUCKS!

British Bitch: Possibly... however there was that clip with charlie in the trailer so maybe something similar happens?

American Whore: The only part of chapter one that *might* be in the movie is maybe the scene where Edward explains how monsters are behind more than Bella thinks - and Melissa better stay true to the book!

British Bitch: Yes! Agreed

I liked Edwards arrival... despite the snarky fanfic reader coming out in me. His chi sled jaw... full lips... bronzed hair... *le sigh*

American Whore: Oh, and you know what is already pissing me off?! This "responsibility" Bella feels to Jacob. Woman, you are dating Edward - prepared to turn into a fucking vampire for him - FORGET JACOB!

It's SO cruel to Edward, how Bella acts towards Jacob in this whole book.

British Bitch: I know!! Heart breaking sometimes!

Why cant she just be happy with what shes got?

American Whore: I know, in FanFic, there would have been some major tonsil hockey! (shit, I don't think I've said "tonsil hockey" since High School!)

Bella = moron. Remember? Selfish too!

British Bitch: hahaha, bringing back a classic there!

*face palm* how could i forget?

American Whore: Oh speaking of classics, I LOVE the book Wuthering Heights, and I love their discussion on it.

Silly BB. I forgive you. Just don't forget again!

British Bitch: I know its a really interesting perspective that Edward has... but I know Bella is right. It is their love for each other that makes them good.

Although now that i think about it Bella resembled Cathy in a lot of ways... selfish... an idiot... goes psychotic when heathcliff leaves... the list goes on

American Whore: I love that line, "their love is their redeeming quality". *le sigh* Bella pisses me off, but I can't deny that 75% of the time I like her

British Bitch: me too, damn her

American Whore: Oooh. Good point with the whole Bella = Cathy. I agree.

British Bitch: I do think that Edward is going a little over board with the whole "I forbid you from seeing Jacob." Just because shes human doesnt mean you can control her

As much as I hate the mut, I wouldnt stop her from seeing him, thats only going to push her into his arms more

American Whore: I know. It's one of the very few qualities he needs to fix. He should just let her go, if Jacob and his dumb pack kill her, well fuck Bella - get with Rose. Oh, and send Jasper to clean up the "mess". (Jasper clean up = change Bella and become mates.)

haha. sorry, I know. stop, bad. *eyes book* We're doing a CANON reading for... 3 months?! Oh jesus, this should be fun!

British Bitch: Haha bad girl! You are so going to get flamed!!

What about Emmett?!

American Whore: I know, I know. I'm used to it.

Um... Emmett.... shit.

I don't know! :O

British Bitch: Mmm Edward and Rose... thats a sexy beautiful combination.

not with alice.. ew.

American Whore: Talk about getting flamed?!

Ok, canon, remember!

British Bitch: Fine we'll stick to canon!

Any final thoughts to add?

American Whore: this is going to be tough.... js.

British Bitch: haha

American Whore: Final thoughts.... hmm... I guess I can't wait to see what they put in the movie. I know Melissa-bitch will leave out important stuff, but one of the parts I'm really looking forward to and hope to god they put in the movie is when Jacob kisses Bella - she breaks her hand and my fav convo when Jacob and Edward go "at it" outside of Bella's house. hahaha

British Bitch: Oh yeah that is good! Oh and the tent!! I was pissed off to see that apparently its an intimate sexy scene when Jacob gets in the sleeping bag with Bella. Believe me when I say I shall be boo-ing in the cinema.

Oh and in reference to the trailer, you know the bit where jacob says "I shall fight for you until your heart stops beating."... Doesn't that just make you want to kill Bella? :P

American Whore: YES! What he doesn't know is he's really a perv and ends up loving her daughter. Stupid mut should just give up. lol

British Bitch: True fact.

ok that wraps it up

American Whore: Chapter Two coming to the blog next!

Thanks for reading, if you have any comments or thought, send us an email or leave a comment.

Your Rose and Bella