Excuses, Excuses...

So ladies and gents, FanFicers Anonymous posts have progressively decreased, and we are truly sorry for that. It does not mean we are not here and not thinking of all of you - we are. Real life and other obligations have picked up for the British Bitch and I. But alas, we are here with your updates, rec's and whatever else we can do for you! Hope you enjoy it!


Ok, so my whore don't know I'm doing this but it needs to be reced!!
The Twilight 25: Round Two: Winter 2010 by BBSapphire24 - Various couples. - So she has just posted her first o/s from the twilight 25 prompts and its really good. The prompt used was Dark; Jess looked into the Darkest part of Edward life: leaving Bella and this is what she came up with. Its a unique insight into Edwards mind with a slight twist from the book. She does angst so well, this had me all choked up and made my heart ache. She really touched on not just what Edward was feeling but the rest of the Cullens too. An excellent read for any Twilight lover!


Another thing I would like to mention is something that Sweets, who you might know as SweetDulcinea or SweetDulci decided to put together a Fandom Birthday List to keep things straight in the massive group of people we have formed! Check out the link, add your birthday if you want and check out some of the other fandom bdays that are going on! Pass it along, let's get this thing going, K? Thanks! You can find the Twilight Fandom Birthday spreadsheet HERE!


The Kill a Cullen contest can be found here, including voting and information:


Kill a Cullen Contest -  2/09/10 - VOTING HAS STARTED! Please select 3 choices when voting. The poll will be up from Feb 9th to Feb 23rd. ~ Please GO! Read and Review and VOTE! A message from the admins over at "Kill a Cullen" -  We would like to thank everyone that entered. The response was amazing! Also, thank you to everyone and every site that pimped out the contest! Now Go Vote!Updates over the last... however long its been:

Nothings Logical by AonL - A simple outing between friends is supposed to be what friendship is all about,right? That's what J/B/A/R/E thought too, but instead were quickly faced with a scenario worse than any nightmare... Will any of them survive? AH.Violence.M ~ My guy A went and wrote himself a one-shot. And what contest more fitting for him than the "Kill a Cullen" contest. It is not like anything I've read, he's got a different approach on things and there's nothing typical about it. The images he created were clear and fantastic. It was truly fabulous, and you need to read it - you won't be disappointed. And if you are, come to me! ;)

Bite Your Lip by HisShinySilverVolvo - JxB - They were broken when they found each other, and together they mended each other's wounds... but every harsh wound always leaves a scar. Complicated, stupid, selfish, impossible... love.  Jasper-Bella story, Rated M to be safe. 600 reviews! ~ This is a great JxB story. The author doesn't get to update all that often, so when we do get updates it's a great surprise. It's a take off of New Moon, Jasper and Bella help each other a lot - through different things and in different ways. HisShinySilverVolvo does an amazing job with the descriptions and painting an image for you. We're about 24 chapters in, GO CHECK IT OUT! ;)

The First Breath by ElleCC and LaViePastiche - JxB - When grief and uncertainty threaten to drown you, how do you catch your breath? For Support Stacie Auction winner JAustenlover. Collab with LaViePastiche. AH, Bella/Jasper. ~ Wow, where to begin? Since the last post these two amazing ladies have decided to post on a more accelerated schedule, meaning every other day we are getting a chapter! It's fabulous. So much has happened. Insight, knowledge and communication between all of the characters have revealed so much. We've been introduced to some new and fun characters who I am loving. *cough*Bradysstillmyfavorite*cough* They broke my heart, had me in tears, and than I found myself bouncing in my chair like a school girl who finally got the date with her crush! I KNOW! :O SO, tell me.... why aren't YOU reading this? Go!

Insecurities by JamesRamsey - JxB - Suddenly I realized the family had it wrong. I had it wrong. Jasper was not attacking me and Edward was not protecting me. AU OOC Rated M to be safe - My first story ~ It all begins on the pivotal night of Bella's birthday. Something went wrong, but being the only human in the room could we really trust Bella's POV? Well this is a great twist on what happened. It was well written and captivating. I only got to read the first chapter but it has been continued (24 more chapters) and I can't wait to sit down and read this one! 

He and She by AHizelm - JxB - Sometimes, you can't fight chemistry, no matter the situation. "I know all your favorite spots and tonight we will connect the dots." Jasper/Bella. AH. ~ *sigh* I have to admit, it's sad to see this beautiful story coming to a close, but it's time. With only two more chapters left, AHizelm updated and filled us in with most of the questions we've been begging for since they came to the surface. Rosalie's part... wait WHAT Maria.. yea! I won't say anymore but it was typical AHizelm. Written fantastically and left you wanting more. GO, show her some love - this is a great story!

Camels and Cloves by Chicklette - JxB - It's not what they say, it's what they whisper: New girl Isabella Swan has heard nothing good about Jasper Whitlock. So why can't she stay away from him? Are the rumors true? AH/OOC M- drink/drugs/sex. "For the Love of Jasper" Contest. ~ This little diddy was rec'd to me by a new friend I found on Twitter, so I checked it out. Amazing. I couldn't get this out of my mind for like 24 hours straight. I was so sad to see it as just a One-shot, the potential this has is unbelievable! You meet Jasper and think you know him - trust me, you don't! Bella, I LOVED her Bella! It had it's angsty moments, but weren't too bad and Chicklette had me cracking up some moments! Go, please, check this out!

Toxic by SweetDulcinea - PxB - Bella & Peter have done it all - friendship, dating, bed buddies, and every confusing fluctuation in between. They eventually come to accept that they just don't work together, but that sexual chemistry never goes away... AH ~ OMFG! That's basically the jist of this chapter. Sweets did another great job. More insight to a more comfortable and relaxed Peter and Bella, obviously a little more settled into the relationship the author decided to spice things up... A LOT! Mirrors, lemons, salt and Tequila were a major contributor to this chapter. I fucking loved it, seriously, it was un-fucking-believable! GO! NOW!

The Dark Side of The Moon by JaspersPrincess213 - JxB - Bella is much stronger than she thinks. When Edward tries to leave her in New Moon, she understands what he’s doing and gets him to stay. Everything is great until she realizes that they just weren’t meant to be. J/B Story. Rated M for language & lemons.  ~ I missed this update, somehow, and when I found out this updated I ran over to read it. Such a good story. It's New Moon but the way all of us fandom gals would have done it. I don't know how many times I have heard from all you amazing woman what a wuss Bella was and how she should have stood up to Edward, well you should read this! It's written beautifully. Bella is strong, she speaks up for herself and doesn't take shit - but she doesn't cross the line of bitchy. Edward... well I believe in my review I asked if I could smack him. I want to throttle the son of a bitch throughout the story! ::epic fucking eyeroll:: It's a great story, please check it out and leave some love!

The Reborn by Alsper - JxA - Mary died when Jasper was a kid, so who is Alice and why is he so drawn to her? AH/AU Rated M for language, adult themes, and sexual content ~ Mary and Jazz are back! I love this story! "sings* "I'm not you're boyfriend baby, I ain't your cute little sex toy, I'm not your lion or your tiger, won't be your nasty little boy." - LOVE this song and this fic! Alsper has created a completely different story for Jasper and Alice, that will break your heart and leave you in awe over the love story. Emmett cracks me up, as does Edward. Rose is brilliant and even Bella - not many like this one. It's a brilliant story - read it!

Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche - ExBxJ - The wild son of a famous televangelist, Jasper likes to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Will he meet his match in Bella, who’s in love with his sister’s boyfriend Edward? And what happens when Edward finally notices her? AH, B/E ~ *sigh* Another story coming to a close. I will seriously miss this story and this Jasper. LVP has out-done herself yet again. Emmett and his knowledge, jokes, and banter had be cracking up. I love the relationship he has with Bella. Edward had his moments where I wanted to smack him - NGL (you all know I am a JxB - but I fucking love this story) and he was frustrating but.... he kinda redeemed himself. The time with Rosalie was done brilliantly. I loved it. There's one more chapter of this fabulous story left, GO, catch up with us and let LVP know what an amazing job she's done! ;)

Edward Wallbanger by feathersmmmm -ExB - Bella moves into a fantastic apartment building in San Francisco. Guess who lives next door? With walls this thin, the tension is gonna be thick... Wallbanger and Nightie girl are back!! I loved this chapter so much! Finally the couples realise who they are really supposed to be with and a little help from a very drunk Bella sort them out good and proper, but will it do the same for her and wallbanger? I hope so!! On another note: Congratulations to Alice, the author, she has just published her first book. It went on sale Tuesday 16th of February, titled: The Unidentified Red Head.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armour by hunterhunting - ExB -Hunted by her past Bella is broken and alone. Starting over, can she let go of the guilt that consumes her when she meets a beautiful tattoo artist or will his own personal demons destroy them first? Rated M for langage and lemons. AH/OOC Since we last posted this has updated twice and has now finished. I am very very sad to see this story finished but felt very privilaged that it was posted online for me to have a chance to read it. I have a new found love and respect for tattoo's and I just fell in love with these characters, even with all there many many faults they were still perfect for each other. Its was raw and beautiful, and I love it because of that. hunterhunting is an exstreamly talented author and I cant wait to read what else she writes.

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan by hunterhunting - ExB. The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Players: Through incessant stalking and persistence, can Edward wear down Bella's resistence and teach her to embrace her inner puck bunny? A ridiculous love story. AH/OCC Chapter three!! I adored it! Was full of smutty goodness but still kept that quirky edge! Something completely different from hunterhunting, but this just really shows off her skills as a writer and I can't wait to read more of Hockeyward and his Spiderbella. 

Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon - ExB - Bella Swan is drafted in to interview the reclusive enigmatic Edward Cullen, multi-millionaire CEO of his company. It's an encounter that will change her life irrevocably, leading her to the darkest realms of desire. MA Adult Themes AH AU Sometimes I just really want to punch this Bella. She doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Every time something is great she thinks its too good to be true and has to go and piss off fifty shades! She expects an awful lot from him all the time and then isn't grateful she's guilty. Thinking that shes forcing him to be something hes not, she should know he well enough by now that If he didn't want to do something he wouldn't do it. he's very clinical and business like, if something doesn't have a profit then its not worth investing in. Still wonderfully written and I adore the characters, despite my rant. Still I think the best thing about this story is the attention to detail, its makes it so much more realistic and beautiful.

Beautiful, Dirty, Rich. By Kiki Blue - ExB - One Bet. One Week. No Rules. Bella bets Edward that after a week of some raw sexcapades he won’t want to stop. He bets her otherwise. A slightly tongue in cheek smutathon and my first fan-fic. Unfortunately, the story had to be taken off of FF.net due to the fuckyness that is going on at the moment. However you can find it at Twilighted.net, or if you'd prefer, The writers coffee shop, here. In this latest chapter we see what Alice got up to over the summer whilst in New York. How come she's in love with Jasper all of a sudden?! o.O All shall be revealed!! :D I love Kiki and BDR! You should also come hang out at the BDR forum, where us filthy BDR fans talk about many many things such as penis size, porn, perfect dates, the ones that got away and more! Here.If you leave a review on any of these stories please don't forget to let them know that you heard about there story from over here at Fanficers Anonymous. Thanks darlings.

And.... The British Bitch and American Whore would like to wish a....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SWEETDULCI and TAFKAKirmit!

The boys have offered to take you ladies out, as body guards - "bait" - whatever you need. Just please, make sure you return them - The British Bitch and I have become quiet fond of the BDay Boys and would miss them terribly! ;)

Enjoy your days ladies! <3

Thanks very much for reading, we hope we have given you something good to read.

Until next time...

Your Rose and Bella.